I feel really bad about not
posting lately.
And to be strait up, if you hate
whiners, you might want to skip over this post for now. I have held it in all
week. And I am finally saying something.
My dad gave me the best advice
today, in telling me that I can’t just post the “Peaches and Cream” of the trip
so to speak. There are definitely rough times. And I am feeling it right now.
And to be honest, this week has been a really hard week for me
to get through.
I love Thailand. Please don’t get me wrong about that. I am so
grateful that I am here. And I know that I am supposed to be here. There is not
one part of me that regrets coming at all.
But I also am a FIRM believer in culture shock. And not so much seeing
things and thinking things are weird. Or judging other people for the way that
we live differently, as well as watching how others have been raised and
thinking I am above them. I feel like I have fully embraced the Thai culture
with open arms. And tried my very best to be the most understanding and
respectful I know. I know I can tell
myself a million times. And make it a mind game. “Mind over matter” right?
My body on the other hand
Has a different approach.
The farthest away my body has been from Utah is California. As
far as humidity goes. I have lived in Utah my entire life. DESERT state.
The humidity in Thailand is completely and utterly overwhelming
to try to comprehend into words. The air is absolutely engulfing.
It doesn’t just hit you all at once... oh no.
It slowly works on you all day.
The heat I can do. Humidity on the other hand,
We have AC in our room. Which I am SO GRATEFUL for. But we have
to wait till 7:00 pm to turn it on every night. And as soon as the clock
strikes 7:00 am, off goes the AC. And the windows swing open.
Even if I didn’t have to get up in the mornings and teach. There’s
no way I could sleep in. The heat alone
is enough to get you out of bed.
Getting up and teaching is fine. It’s getting done with teaching
at noon every day and not having anywhere to go but back to our room.
I don’t know if I have really talked about our living
conditions. But I’ll just touch on it.
I am one of 6 girls living in one room. With 3 bunk beds for
sleeping. A table and chairs for eating all 3 meals. A coffee table, chairs and
a bench. And one closet for all of us to share. The room we live in is about
the size of a one car garage.
So alone time in the room is impossible. Also there are 3
outlets. So that’s great
Coming back from teaching. Absolutely exhausted. I have been
talking for 3 hours straight. Trying my very best to keep 3-5 year olds
entertained long enough to learn English and get through class. Is so hard. Especially
dripping with sweat. It’s not as bad in the school. But the second you get
done. And come out to the room. It is like walking in to a trailer house that
has been sitting on the side of your house all summer, and going in to it
during the heat of the day in mid-July. That hot, stagnant air. Is how it feels
in our room all day. Until 7. When we can turn on the AC. We do have 2 fans in
our room. My bed is a top bunk. Ain’t no chance there is any air getting up to
me. After we eat lunch. I don’t even want to talk. All I want to do is drink
cold water and sleep. I am constantly. CONSTANTLY sweating. I could be sitting
in a chair. Staring at a wall. Or having a casual conversation. And there would
be sweat pooling on my neck, and dripping off my ears and sliding off my eye
brows.
All I want to do is come back and sleep. Today I tried just
basically stripping down to my underwear and laying on my bed and trying so
hard to take my body out of the situation I was in. I slept for an hour and
woke up in an absolute POOL of sweat. And was dripping.
It’s disgusting.
Trust me
I know
I take two showers a day
At least
There is no where to go to get away from the heat. We are allowed
to go in the school any time we want! During school hours however every room is
full. I can’t leave campus unless I take two other people with me. Sitting
outside is even worse. And shade does nothing.
Trying to get away from people is impossible. The only alone
time I get is late at night after everyone goes to bed. Or even in the
bathroom. But I share a bathroom too. So usually you aren’t alone.
It’s so hard to be patient with 5 other girl’s personalities and
living habits that aren’t what you’re used to, or what you grew up with
knowing. When you are absolutely miserable hot. Also laundry day is once a
week. And I brought limited clothing. So changing clothes every time I sweat
like I do at home is definitely not an option here. Some days if I have the energy to I will
gather some girls and we will make the 15 min bike ride in to town and go AC
hopping at different stores and adventure.
That is so fun!! However. I haven’t had the patience with anyone
long enough to do that. Or the energy to do that every day!
It’s miserable not getting alone time. I NEED alone time. I love
people. I love being social and talking, laughing and having fun. But I need a
recharge. And I need to be alone sometimes. I love my “me” time. And I am
having a hard time with not having it here. That’s one of my biggest turn offs
with going on a mission. And I feel like I am on one now.
I don’t know how to escape the heat.
I am going to try to buy a fan. And figure out how to run an
extension cord. Because I can’t keep doing this.
I also can’t keep being so negative.
I am so grateful for so many things now. Especially going
without some comforts has made me realize how blessed I am to have common luxuries
every day and not even think twice about it in America.
I am so grateful for
AC
My own room
My family that loves me and is always there for me
My dogs and their unconditional love towards me
Being able to go to the store, know what everything is, and be
able to eat however I want
Having a different carb with my meal besides rice….
Having lean protein
Cheese
A dishwasher
A dryer
A bathroom inside
A shower inside
Having pest control be a real thing
Not having lizards and frogs in my showers with me
Not having to check the shower curtain for cockroaches or
spiders before getting in.
Being able to flush my toilet paper
Brushing my teeth inside
Being able to go barefoot outside if I want to
Being able to sleep in the day if I want to
Having the comfort of a priesthood leader so close by at home
Being able to understand what people are saying about me when
they speak
Knowing how to read street signs
Knowing how to understand what people say when they say a number
Having a washer that doesn't ruin my clothes
A mom that does my laundry
Having the ability to go get a frosty whenever I please
Being able to drive!! Freedom
Sleeping in my own bed
Being able to put on make-up and not have it be gone 10 mins
later
Having my hair stay dry all day long
Being able to go outside at night without worrying about getting
eaten alive by a stray dog, raped, turned into a sex slave, or eaten to death
by
Not having acne
Eating pizza rolls
Eating pizza
Eating whatever I want
I could go on for ever
I love America.
Such a comfortable country.
Everything about it.
I just remember this is the real reason I am here.. This
This is the part I love. with wayy too much of my heart
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